Fullmetal Summer Vacation
by Blazing Pink
Summary: The FMA cast decide to take a vacation in Paradise Island. But as soon as they arrive, things get a little out of control. Rated T for minor language.
1. Seasickness, Lies, and Drowning

Author's Note: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, Hughes would still be alive and Ed and Winry would have been dating by now. Now, on with chapter uno!

Chapter One

Seasickness, Lies, and Drowning

How much longer until we get to that damn island?" asked Ed.

"Brother, why are you so impatient today?" asked Al.

"I'm sick of this boat trip, and I mean literally." The two brothers were on a ship that was heading towards an island called Paradise Island. They were planning to have a nice, quiet summer vacation there, away from all the noise. However, when they got on the ship, it turned out that all of the other Fullmetal Alchemist characters (both dead and alive) were also heading toward the island for a vacation. As soon as the ship left the dock, things got a little crazy. Hughes was annoying the crap out of everyone with his latest pictures of Elicia (the captain of the ship almost hit a rock because Hughes shoved one of his pictures into the captain's face), Havoc tried to get himself a girlfriend by complimenting some of the women's bodies (he got thrown overboard five times already for that), Armstrong was showing off his muscles (again), and poor Edo was feeling seasick.

"Brother, you know that Dr. Marcoh is also on this ship," said Al. "maybe you should go see him."

"I'm fine, Al," said Ed stubbornly. "I'm not gonna throw up." At that moment, Envy appeared behind the brothers.

"Hey, Ed," said Envy, who was smiling evilly. "I got a present for you." He shoved a glass of milk in front of Ed's face. Seeing the milk, Ed turned green and threw up into the ocean.

"Brother!" exclaimed Al while Envy was laughing his head off. Meanwhile, the Devil's Nest gang was down at the ship's bar. Greed was surrounded by a bunch of young women, who were listening to a story he was telling.

"So I said to him, 'Hey! If you don't stop insulting my sister, you're gonna be in a world of hurt!' and he just laughed! Can you believe it? So we started fighting. He was tough, all right, but his auto-mail arm and leg was no match for me! In just five minutes, I beaten him into a bloody pulp and he never insulted my sister again. And he calls himself a State Alchemist!"

"Wow, Greed that was so brave of you!" said one of the women.

"I'm surprised you weren't sent to jail for beating up a State Alchemist," said another one.

"Heh, when the military found out, they were too scared to arrest me," said Greed cheerfully. Martel, who was next to them the whole time, started talking.

"Greed, that never happened! Ed didn't insult your sister because you don't have one! The fight lasted longer than five minutes and _you_ were the one that got beaten up!" The women stared at Martel and looked back at Greed.

"Is this true?" They were glaring at Greed the same way a dog glares at an intruder. Greed gulped.

"Well, uh...I made some of it up." One minute later, Greed was lying on the floor, withering in pain. _Who knew angry women could be so strong?_ Greed thought painfully. _They can even break my shield! _

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (what ranch?), Ed had gotten a little better after throwing up.

"Wait until I get my hands on that palm tree," mumbled Ed while clutching his stomach. Al just sighed. "I told you you've should've seen Dr. Marcoh, Ed." Al looked out into the ocean. "Ed, look!" Al cried out suddenly. Ed looked up and saw an island. "It's Paradise Island! We're nearly there!"

"Hallelujah!" shouted Ed. "I can finally get off of this Godforsaken ship! Paradise Island, here I come!" He jumped into the water.

"Ed, wait!" shouted Al, but it was too late.

"HELP! I'M DROWNING!" Ed had become so overjoyed when he saw the island, that he forgot that the ship hadn't reached the shore and that his auto-mail limbs would drag him down deeper into the water. Hawkeye, who overheard Ed's cry for help, jumped into the water to rescue him. Somewhere in the shadows, a certain green haired homunculus was laughing his head off (again).

Author's Note: That's it! That's chapter one! Flames and reviews are welcomed! Oh, and I got the part where Greed tells the women that Ed insulted his sister from "Drake and Josh." It was the episode where Eric accidentally punches Drake and tells everyone that he punched him because Drake was insulting his sister. Anyway, chapter two is coming soon, so please be patient! Oh, and I'm not Spanish. I used the word "uno" just for fun.


	2. Why Gluttony and Water Don't Mix

Author's Note: I forgot to give special thanks to my friend, Anime. She's the one who helped me with the part where Envy gives Ed the glass of milk. Now, here's chapter two, and this time, it's longer and funnier!

Chapter Two

Why Gluttony and Water Don't Mix

"I told you you'll sink like a rock if you swim in deep water!" scolded Winry. "Why do you never listen to me!?!" Hawkeye had just gotten Ed back on the ship when Winry walked by. When she was told what happened, she was more furious than an angry mother dragon whose young was being threatened. Ed kept on mumbling, "I know, I know," while Al was watching nearby. Soon, the ship reached the shore. Ed made sure that the water wasn't too deep before jumping out of the ship again.

"Land! Oh, beautiful land!" Ed began kissing the white sand. Meanwhile, Al reached into his armor and pulled out a guide book on Paradise Island. He was flipping through it until he found something interesting.

"Hey, Ed," said Al. "it says here that there's a type of fish that lives in the waters of Paradise Island called parrotfish."

"So?" asked Ed, who had at that time finished kissing the sand. "What's so important about them?"

"Well, it says here that their droppings are white and sometimes wash up on shore. In other words, that white sand you were kissing a moment ago might've been parrotfish droppings." Ed stood in silence before yelling, "EWWW! GROSS!" and started spitting and gagging. He jumped into the water (the shallow part), sucked in some of it, and gurgled. At that moment Roy walked by.

"Well, Fullmetal," said Roy. "I always knew you liked doing crazy stunts, but never have I imagined you kissing fish poop."

"SHUT UP!" Ed screamed while glaring at Roy.

"Uh, maybe we should head toward our hotel," said Al, not wanting a fight to get started.

Each hotel room held two people, both of them the same sex (do I really need to explain why?), except for the married couples. Ed and Al entered their room. The room held two separate beds, both of them the same size. Al looked at the beds.

"Brother, where am I going to sleep?" he asked, seeing as both of the beds were too small for him.

"This is going to be a problem," said Ed, scratching the back of his head.

When Wrath and Envy entered their room, Wrath placed his suitcase on the floor and started jumping on one of the beds. Envy started unpacking his suitcase. As Wrath was happily jumping on his bed, he noticed a remote control with a big, red button lying near the bed. He picked it up and, curious as he was, pressed the button. The mattress of the bed snapped shut, trapping the homunculus inside.

"AAAUUGGH! LET ME OUT OF HERE! ENVY!" screamed Wrath at the top of his lungs. Envy ignored him and continued unpacking. After ten minutes, Envy, tired of hearing Wrath's screams for help, picked up the remote and pressed the button. The mattress snapped open and Wrath fell onto the floor, breathing heavily.

"Why didn't you help me earlier?" asked Wrath.

"Because I didn't feel like it," answered Envy.

"Sloth, how come you're not sharing a room with Hohenheim?" asked Lust. "You know they allow married couples to sleep together." She and Sloth were sharing a room together.

"Because Dante got to him first," answered Sloth somberly. Meanwhile, in another room, Dante was happily flirting with Hohenheim.

"Oh, look, darling, they gave us a double bed! Brings back memories, doesn't it?" Hohenheim sighed. _I wish Trisha was here. _Hohenheim thought sadly.

"Hey Greed, where's Lust?" asked Gluttony. He was sharing a room with Greed.

"This hotel has a strict policy," answered Greed. "They only allow two people of the opposite sex to share a room if there're married or related to each other." Greed looked at the beds. "That bed is mine, got it, fat boy?"

"Okay!" said Gluttony cheerfully, unaware that Greed had just insulted him. He went to his own bed and ate it.

"THAT BED WAS MEANT FOR SLEEPING, NOT FOR EATING, YOU IDIOT!" screamed Greed.

When everyone got unpacked, they all went to the beach. Ed decided to go surfing, even though there weren't any waves at that time. All of the women and teenage girls lay in the sun while Wrath made friends with Elicia and Nina and was building sand castles with them. Armstrong took the job of lifeguard (although he was more focused on his muscles than on the people in the water) and Hughes was once again showing everyone his photos of Elicia.

"Wanna see my daughter? Wanna see my daughter? Wanna my daughter?"

"I _am_ your daughter!" said Elicia.

"Whoops! Sorry, sweetie! Wanna see my daughter? Wanna my daughter?" Chomp. "Hey, gimme back my photo, you stupid shark!" Hughes started beating the crap out of the shark. Meanwhile, Envy was lazily drifting in the water when Gluttony swan over.

"Hey, Envy! Have you ever burped underwater before?" Envy cocked his head.

"No, I don't think I have."

"Okay, watch!" Gluttony took a deep breath, put his face in the water, and burped. His burp created a giant wave. On that wave, was Ed, riding on his surf board and shouting, "Cowabunga!" The wave crashed into Envy and a starfish got stuck on his face. He pulled off the starfish when Gluttony swam over again.

"Hey, Envy! Have you ever farted underwater before?" At this, Envy hightailed out of the water. Later that day, everyone got into a Jacuzzi.

"I didn't even know this place had a Jacuzzi!" said Al. "It didn't say anything about it in the guide!" Everyone relaxed happily, until Gluttony stood up. The bubbles stopped. Everyone sat in silence, now realizing the horrifying truth of why the guide book didn't say anything about a Jacuzzi. Everyone jumped out of the "Jacuzzi" and ran screaming back to their rooms. When he reached his room, Envy quickly jumped into the shower, Wrath behind him.

"Hey! I was here first! Get out of here!"

"But think of the little people!"

"I don't give a flying shit about the little people!" Ed and Al were sharing the same shower.

"Can't…breath," said Ed, whose face was pressed against the glass.

"It's not my fault they made the shower too small!" (Note: All of the characters are still wearing their swim wear.)

Author's Note: While I was typing this chapter, I heard a noise that sounded like a gunshot. I went to my dad and asked, "Who killed who?" and he replied, "That was the thunder." Scary. The "burping underwater and causing a big wave" part was from "Camp Lazlo." The "Jacuzzi" part was from "The Lion King 1 ½." Special thanks to my friend, Anime. Chapter three is coming soon!


	3. Guess Who Ate The AllYouCanEatBuffet

Author's Note: I like orange juice. Mmmm. Wait. We're on?!? Holy crap, we're on! Where's Chapter Three?!? Chapter Three, you're on!

Chapter Three

Guess Who Ate The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet?

"Hey, Al."

"Yes, Brother?"

"You know what the best part about this crappy vacation is?"

"What?"

"The all-you-can-eat buffet!" Ed swung open the door to the dining room. There, in the middle of the room, sat a large table piled with food. On each side of the table stood multiple smaller tables for the people who were dining. Ed grabbed a plate and started filling it with bacon, rice, salad, bread, etc, while Al went to find a table. The dining room was full of people. Wrath, Elicia, and Nina were looking at all of the food, not sure what to eat.

"Hey, look!" piped up Wrath. "They got peanut butter and jelly!" He reached for the peanut butter and jelly and started singing, "its peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time!" Elicia and Nina soon joined him. Envy, who was near them, shook his head at their idiocy. Meanwhile, Hughes and Gracia were sitting at their table, waiting for Elicia to return. Hughes was glaring at Wrath.

"I don't like that boy," said Hughes.

"Honey, you don't like any of the boys that Elicia's friends with," said Gracia.

"That kid's a homunculus, which is why I don't like him."

"Honey, be reasonable. At least he's being nice to her."

"If he touches our daughter," Hughes got out his gun. "he's dead meat."

"Maes!"

"DON'T YOU _DARE_ SHOOT MY CHILD!" Hughes and Gracia turned around to see Sloth and Izumi glaring at Hughes with fire in their eyes. They looked like they were ready to kill. Hughes quickly put away his gun.

"It was a joke! I swear!" Whether it was a joke or not, Sloth and Izumi didn't care. They stomped towards Hughes, who was getting really nervous. Just then, Lust shouted, "I just remembered something!" Everyone turned their heads toward her. "Gluttony will be down here any minute! If we don't hurry, he will eat the whole buffet!" At this, everyone rushed towards the table and began grabbing as much food as possible. But alas, it was too late. At the entrance of the door, a voice shouted, "Food!" and Gluttony came running and started eating the table. Everyone screamed and moved out of the way so that Gluttony wouldn't eat them by mistake. Ed, not wanting to go to bed hungry, quickly thought of a plan. He ran towards the end of the table and grabbed the plate of cookies that were sitting there.

"Hey, Gluttony!" shouted Ed. "See the cookies? You like cookies, don't you?" He threw the plate of cookies out through an open window.

"Cookies!" shouted Gluttony as he jumped out of the window.

"Wait! Don't throw the cookies out!" shouted Wrath as he jumped out of the window after Gluttony.

"Wait, Wrath! Come back!" shouted Elicia and Nina as they jumped after him.

"ELICIA!" screamed Hughes as he also jumped out of the window.

"What is this? Jump-out-of-a-window day?" asked Greed. The buffet was a mess. Half of the table was eaten, food was on the floor, and plates were shattered.

"Where are the juices?" asked Ed as he looked at what was left of the buffet.

"Gluttony ate them along with the food," said Al. "the only drink that's left is the milk."

"NOOOOO!"

Author's Note: Sorry if this chapter is a bit short. I wanted to put more stuff it it, but then decided to do it in a later chapter. Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it! Coming soon: Chapter Four: The Haunted Hotel! Is the hotel really haunted by the ghost of a murdered girl? Or is it just something they ate? Only time will tell in the next crazy adventure of "Fullmetal Summer Vacation!"


	4. The Haunted Hotel Pt 1

Author's Note: This chapter is so long, that I had to divide it into two parts! Get ready for suspense!

Chapter Four

The Haunted Hotel Pt. 1: What's That Weeping?

"Hey, Envy? Isn't this hotel haunted by the ghost of a murdered girl?" It was nighttime and everyone was preparing for bed. Earlier, Wrath had gotten a stomachache from eating all of the cookies from the buffet. His stomach felt better as soon as it was bedtime.

"Don't listen to those silly natives," said Envy. "You know how superstitious humans are." Earlier today, the natives of Paradise Island told everyone about a girl who came to visit their island many years ago. She was brutally murdered in the hotel when she tried to stop a couple of kidnappers from kidnapping her younger brother. Now her ghost haunts the hotel, weeping quietly for not being able to rescue her brother. Wrath was petrified when he heard the story, and normally Envy enjoyed seeing fear on other people's faces, but when Wrath got scared, he would keep the whole house awake back at home.

"Y-y-you th-think so?" asked Wrath shakily.

"I'm positive," said Envy. "Now go to sleep." He turned off the lamp and darkness filled the room. Envy quickly fell asleep, but poor Wrath lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.

_There's no such thing as ghosts. There's no such thing as ghosts._ Wrath thought to himself. He kept repeating this until he turned over and closed his eyes. Sleep was about to overwhelm him when he heard a noise outside in the hallway. He opened his eyes and listened. Nothing.

_There's no such thing as ghosts. There's no such thing as ghosts._ He heard the noise again, only it was louder.

"There's no such thing as ghosts. There's no such thing as ghosts," whispered Wrath. He heard the noise again, only this time, it sounded like weeping.

"There's no such thing as ghosts! There's no such thing as ghosts!" said Wrath loudly. Envy turned over in his sleep. The weeping grew louder and closer.

"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS! THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS!"

"SHUT UP, YOU IGNORANT BRAT!" Wrath looked up to see Envy sitting up in his bed. "How am I supposed to sleep with all this noise you're making!?! One more word and you're out in the hallway!"

"NO! PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!" shouted Wrath. He clung to Envy's arm. "If I sleep in the hall, the ghost will come and get me!"

"Get off of me!" Envy brushed Wrath off of his arm. "How many times do I have to tell you!?! There are no such things as ghosts!"

"But I heard her weeping!" cried Wrath. "She was out in the hall weeping!"

"Bullshit! That was probably your stomach! You shouldn't have eaten those blasted cookies!"

"B-but…"

"Look, I'll go outside and see if I can find this 'ghost' and we'll go back to bed. Okay?"

"But she'll get you!"

"Shut up! I'm going right now!" Envy opened one of the drawers and grabbed his flashlight. He got out of bed and stomped out into the hallway. "Stay here," he told Wrath before slamming the door. Meanwhile, Ed was having an uncomfortable sleep. The two beds in the room were placed next to each to form a bigger bed for Al while poor Edo had to sleep on the floor. He tossed and turned, but couldn't get comfortable. Giving up, Ed stood up and walked towards the window. He looked out into the starry night sky when he suddenly heard a noise coming from the hallway. It sounded like someone was weeping.

"What's that noise?" asked Al, who couldn't sleep (of course he couldn't sleep! He's a suit of armor!).

"Sounds like someone's crying," said Ed.

"Do you think it could be the ghost of the murdered girl?"

"Of course not! Don't be silly! But I'll check anyway." Ed got out his flashlight and walked out into the hall. He closed the door behind him and looked around. Nothing. He tiptoed through the hall. Suddenly, he heard the weeping again. He turned around but saw no one. Ed started walking again, but this time backwards. At the end of the hall, Envy was also walking backwards. The two boys didn't see each other and continued walking until their backs touched.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ed and Envy jumped a foot from fright. They turned around and flashed their flashlights at each others faces.

"You!"

"What are _you_ doing here!?!"

"I was about to ask you the same thing!"

"Were you the one making the weeping noises?"

"Me!?! Homunculi don't weep! Well, except for Wrath and Gluttony, but not me!"

"Then who was it?"

"GODDAMMIT, GLUTTONY! WHAT DID YOU EAT!?!" Envy and Ed turned their heads toward Greed and Gluttony's room. The door swung open and Greed ran out, closing the door behind him. He was breathing heavily.

"What happened?" asked Envy in a not-that-I-care voice.

"Let's just say Gluttony set off a stink bomb," said Greed. "What are you two doing here, anyway?"

"We heard weeping noises and decided to investigate," said Ed. Greed smirked.

"You believe that ghost story the natives told us today?"

"No, but Wrath does," said Envy. "Which is why I'm out here, trying to find evidence that ghosts don't exist." Greed thought for a moment.

"Mind if I join you? I got a feeling that it won't be safe to go back to my room yet." The trio went to the elevator and went down a floor. When they got off, they heard voices.

"Colonel, I'm scared!"

"Get of off me, Fuery!"

"Are you sure you heard the weeping over here?"

"Positive!"

"I'm just glad we're dealing with a ghost girl and not a ghost dog!" Ed, Envy, and Greed walked forward and saw that the voices belonged to Roy, Fuery, Havoc, Falman, and Breda.

"What are you doing here?" asked Roy when he saw Ed and the two homunculi.

"Hunting ghosts," answered Ed. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Well, what a coincidence!" said Havoc before Roy could answer. "Falman here says he heard weeping and we decided to get to the bottom of this mystery!"

"And I got dragged into it!" said Roy angrily. "Do you remember what happened last time when we went ghost hunting?"

"Yeah, I touched bones that were chewed by a dog!" Breda whimpered.

"NO! Last time Hawkeye chewed us out for running around like schoolboys! I thought we agreed to never do it again, but here we are doing it again!"

"Relax, Colonel," said Havoc. "That was when we were still working. Right now, we're having a vacation. Big difference." Roy opened his mouth. Having nothing to say, he closed it and turned around towards Ed, Greed, and Envy.

"Why don't you join us? The sooner we get this done, the sooner we will go back to bed."

"Sounds fine to me," said Ed.

"It will be our version of Ghostbusters!" said Havoc cheerfully.

"Ghostbusters who are two homunculi and a bunch of military idiots," said Envy. "I bet this is going to be humorous."

Author's Note: Damn, this took forever! And it's only the first part! Hope you enjoyed it, though! Part two is coming soon!


	5. The Haunted Hotel Pt 2

Author's Note: Part two! I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or Ghostbusters.

Chapter Five

The Haunted Hotel Pt. 2: They Ain't Afraid of No Ghost!

Wrath opened the door quietly and peeked out. He had heard screaming earlier but was too scared to move. The screaming sounded an awful lot like Envy and Ed. _What happened? _Wrath thought to himself. _Did the ghost get them?_ Wrath opened the door more and slipped out into the hallway. Even though Envy told him to stay in their room, Wrath had to find out what happened. He tiptoed to where he had heard the screaming. Just then, he heard a weeping sound behind him. Wrath froze. He slowly turned his head around. There, a few feet behind him, stood a little girl, weeping. Wrath couldn't see her face in the darkness, but it still nearly gave him a heart attack.

"MOOOOOMMMMYYYYY!" screamed Wrath at the top of his lungs as he ran towards Sloth and Lust's room.

Lust was awakened by a loud banging on the door. She groaned.

"Whoever it is better have a good reason for waking me up," said Lust angrily. She just had a wonderful dream about her and Scar. Sloth was also awake. She sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"I dreamt me and Hohenheim got remarried and were living in the same house together," said Sloth sleepily.

"You're about to have that dream again after I deal with whoever's banging on our door," said Lust as she got up to open the door. As soon as she opened the door, Wrath zipped in and ran towards Sloth's bed.

"Mommy!" he cried as he hugged Sloth tightly. "It's horrible!"

"What's horrible, dear?" asked Sloth gently. She was used to this type of behavior. Usually it was when Wrath had a nightmare.

"The ghost! The ghost got Envy! And I think she got Ed, too!"

"What are you talking about, sweetie? What ghost?"

"The ghost of the murdered girl!"

"Oh, _that_ ghost. It's just a story, sweetie. There are no such things as ghosts."

"But it's true! I heard someone weeping in the hall, and Envy went to investigate, and then I heard screaming, and then I saw her, and then…"

"Slow down, Wrath! If it will make you feel better, we'll go look for Envy and the ghost. Are you coming with us, Lust?"

"I can't believe I was woken up for this," grumbled Lust, but went along with them.

"We're going to need a name for our team," said Havoc. "I mean, 'Ghostbusters' is already taken, so how about the 'Ghost Patrol?'"

"We're not naming our team anything!" said Roy angrily. "This 'ghost' is nothing more than a wild goose chase! As soon as we're done, there will be no more ghosts left for us to chase!"

"I know!" said Breda, completely ignoring Roy's statement. "How about the 'Supernatural Investigators?'"

"That's too long!" complained Ed. "How about the 'Phantom Vanquishers?'"

"Will you two shut up!?!" shouted Roy. "We're not naming our team anything!" Suddenly, everyone heard somebody weeping.

"Colonel! It's the ghost!" said Fuery. The weeping grew louder and closer.

"What should we do!?!" cried Falman.

"Everyone, relax!" said Havoc. "Remember our motto! 'We ain't afraid of no ghost!'"

"That's not our motto!" said Roy. "You stole that from Ghostbusters!"

"So what? Repeating it over and over again will help calm down our nerves!" said Havoc. "Everyone, repeat after me! We ain't afraid of no ghost! We ain't afraid of no ghost!"

"We ain't afraid of no ghost! We ain't afraid of no ghost!" chanted everyone. Roy, seeing that it was pointless to argue, started chanting with them. The chanting did help everyone calm down, that is, until the weeping got closer and turned into loud sobbing.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Everyone ran into different directions. Ed dropped his flashlight and couldn't see where he was running until he crashed into something hard and cold and fell on his back.

"Brother! Are you okay?" Ed looked up and saw that what he had crashed into was Al.

"What are you doing here?" asked Ed as he got up.

"I heard screaming earlier and decided to see if you were alright. What were you running from just now?"

"The ghost!" said Ed shakily. "I was running from the ghost!"

Envy ran as fast as he could. He didn't look back to see if the ghost was chasing him. _Wait a minute,_ he thought. _Why am I running away?_ He stopped and turned around. He was ready to take on the ghost. After all, he was no coward!

"Envy?"

"YAAAAAA!" Envy jumped from fright and turned around to see Sloth, Lust, and Wrath. "Oh, it's you."

"See, Wrath?" said Sloth. "Envy's alright and there's no ghost."

"What are you talking about!?!" asked Envy. "I just heard her with my own ears!"

"You were just hearing things, Envy," said Lust. "Now, can we _please_ go back to sleep?"

"Just hearing things?" asked Envy hotly. "JUST HEARING THINGS!?! I'll show you that the ghost is real! Follow me!"

Roy ran until he ran out of breath. He didn't know where the others were, but now, he had to hide. The ghost could be anywhere. He opened one of the doors in the hall and stepped inside. He couldn't see anything in the darkness. When he closed the door, a light came on. There, sitting in bed, was Hawkeye and her dog, Black Hayate.

"Oh! First Lieutenant Hawkeye! What a, uh, surprise to see you here!" said Roy nervously. Hawkeye peered at him suspiciously.

"What are you doing at this late hour, Colonel?" she asked. Roy stuttered. He knew that if he told Hawkeye about the ghost hunt, all hell would break lose.

"Uh, well, you see, I couldn't sleep, so I, uh, decided to take a walk, and, uh…"

"You're lying to me, aren't you? Tell me why you're here." Roy knew no one could lie to Hawkeye. He had to tell the truth.

"Well, how should I put this? I was chasing a ghost, and…"

"YOU WERE CHASING A _WHAT_!?!" Roy jumped at Hawkeye's screaming. She was looking furious. Black Hayate trembled a little. "Colonel, are you some kind of idiot!?! Do you remember the last time you went ghost hunting!?!"

"But Hawkeye! This time it's different!"

"HOW IS IT DIFFERENT!?!"

"The ghost is real!" Hawkeye sighed and got out of bed. She opened one of her drawers and got out her gun.

"Let's have a look at this 'ghost,' shall we?"

_They allow guns in this hotel?_

The rest of Roy's team came back and along with them was Sloth, Wrath, Lust, and Al. Fuery, who was at the time terrified, was now happy when he saw Black Hayate. Breda wasn't too happy, however.

"Well?" asked Hawkeye. "Where's this so-called ghost?" Right after Hawkeye said that, a weeping sound was heard.

"It's the ghost!"

"She's come to get us!"

"What should we do!?!" Hawkeye, who was remained calm, walked towards the spot where the weeping was coming from. Black Hayate followed her.

"No, First Lieutenant Hawkeye! Don't go!"

"She'll get you!" Hawkeye ignored them all. She continued walking until she stopped. She reached out her hand and grabbed onto something.

"Here's your ghost." Hawkeye walked back. She was holding the hand of a little girl. Not a ghost, but…

"Nina!?!" Nina was sobbing and rubbing her eyes with her other hand. "Nina, what are you doing!?!" asked Ed.

"My tummy was hurting," sobbed Nina. "So I decided to take a walk. It got worse, so I began to cry. I saw you guys walking around and decided to ask you if you have any medicine, but you all ran away from me." Roy's team stood in silence. The weeping they had heard was no ghost and it led them on a wild goose chase.

"I have something for tummy aches, Nina," said Hawkeye gently. "Why don't you to my room and wait there?"

"Okay." When Nina left, Hawkeye turned around.

"I hope you learned your lesson," she said angrily. "Once again, you knuckleheads decide to run around like a bunch of schoolboys. And to think you would learn from your own mistakes!" Hawkeye shook her head and left, Black Hayate right behind her.

"Well, I think we all learned a lesson from this," said Ed.

"Never listen to Havoc, Falman, Fuery, or Breda," said Roy.

Author's Note: All I have to say is, "Man, this is long!" Chapter six is coming soon!


	6. The Not So Great Boat Race

Author's Note: I've decided to grow out my hair so I can braid it. That way, my hairstyle will be similar to Ed's! Except for the color and the bangs XP

Chapter Six

The Not-So-Great Boat Race

"How's your tummy feeling, Nina?"

"Much better, thanks!" The dining was full of people eating breakfast. Gluttony was tied to a chair so he wouldn't eat the buffet like he did last time. Wrath and Elicia were having a food eating contest. The Devil's Nest gang was having a food fight. The food fight started when Kimbley blew up his cereal and some of it landed on Martel, who picked up her muffin and threw it at Kimbley. Sloth was glaring at Dante, who was flirting with Hohenheim, who was looking miserable. Roy was flirting with Havoc's new girlfriend. I don't need to tell you how Havoc felt. You already know the answer to that! The conversation you read earlier was between Ed and Nina. Nina had just come down to eat when Ed asked her his question.

"That's good to hear, Nina. Oh, and sorry about last night."

"That's okay! I'm not mad! That's Wrath's job!" The two started laughing. Wrath, who swore he heard Nina say his name, looked up at the two in puzzlement.

"Ladies and gentlemen, today is Paradise Island's annual boat race! If you're interested, please take a look at the rules on the Tiki Palm Tree and sign your name! The winner gets a coconut trophy and a ticket to a free meal at Honolulu's Jungle Restaurant! Up to five people can get a free meal with this ticket!"

"Coconut trophy?" said Greed after the announcer on the speakers finished talking. "Whatever happened to the gold trophies?"

"They're probably too cheap to get real gold!" said Martel. "So they decided to use coconuts!"

"That is cheap!" said Dorchet. The Devil's Nest gang went to see the rules at the Tiki Palm Tree. The Tiki Palm Tree was called that because it was a palm tree that was decorated with various tiki masks to ward off evil spirits.

"And I thought Envy had bad tastes," said Greed under his breath. The rules on the palm tree were:

Each contestant must build their own boat.

You may get supplies for boat building in the shack on the beach.

You may NOT build a boat out of stone.

You may NOT build a boat out of live animals, humans, or homunculi.

The boat doesn't have to be pretty. After all, this isn't a boat building contest!

You may have ONE partner help you.

No spitting at, name-calling, biting, scratching, killing, blowing up, beating up, shooting at, or eating the other contestants during the race.

"Well, Ed?" asked Al. "Should we enter the race?"

"You bet!" said Ed. "If we win, we get a free meal!"

"We could invite Dad!"

"Oh, no! We are NOT taking that bastard with us to the restaurant!"

"Okay. How about Mom?"

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE!" Soon, nearly everyone signed up for the race and headed towards the beach.

"Just a little lower, Wrath. Stop! That's good!"

"Why am I the one who's building the boat!?! Why aren't you helping!?!"

"I _am_ helping! I'm telling you how to build the boat!"

"You're just standing there, drinking lemonade, while I do all the work! Why, I bet if I wasn't your partner, you would have never entered this race! You're just a lazy, good for nothing…HEY! YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! ENVY!" Envy couldn't hear what Wrath was saying through his earmuffs. That kid was so annoying sometimes! He continued drinking his lemonade while Wrath continued yelling at him. The other contestants were busy building their boats. Well, most of them. Hawkeye was working nonstop while Roy was eyeing at some of the native women.

"Sir, aren't you going to help?" asked Hawkeye.

"Hawkeye, I've decided something," said Roy, completely ignoring Hawkeye's question. "When I become Fuhrer, I won't make the female staff wear tiny mini-skirts."

"Really? That's great, sir!" Hawkeye was getting tired of Roy always announcing about what he was going to do when he became Fuhrer.

"Instead," continued Roy. "All female staff members will wear straw skirts and coconut bras!" Havoc, who was nearby at the time, turned around.

"Did you say straw skirts and coconut bras?" he asked. "You're a miracle, Mustang! I shall follow you for the rest of my life!" Hawkeye sighed and went back to work. Soon, the boat race was about to begin. Wrath was completely worn out from having to work all by himself. Envy looked at the other boats he was about race against. Suddenly, he started laughing.

"What's so funny, Envy?" asked Wrath. Envy had trouble talking while he tried to conceal his laughter.

"Wrath, take, pfffft! Take a look at that!" Wrath looked around him until he spotted Ed and Al's boat. He burst out laughing. Out of all of the boats, Ed and Al's were the smallest. It was a row boat with an engine tied to the back.

"Hey, Ed!" shouted Envy. "What's the name of your boat? The SS Pipsqueak?" At this, Envy and Wrath burst out laughing. Ed glared at them, but instead of being angry like usual, he smiled evilly.

"You'll see what it can do," said Ed with a dark tone in his voice.

"Hey, Envy!" shouted Greed after Envy stopped laughing. "Is that a boat, or did you find it in a junk pile?" Envy and Wrath glared at Greed.

"I'm going to kill him!" said Wrath.

"Ladies and gentleman! The race is about to begin!" said the announcer on the speakers. "Get ready!" Everyone got into their positions. "Get set!" Al stood beside the engine of their boat. "Go!" One of the boats sped of before anyone could blink. In just a few seconds, the boat was nothing more than a dot in the horizon. That boat was Ed and Al's boat. Nobody moved. Everyone stood in silence. "I said go!" Breaking out of their trance-like state, the contestants began racing each other.

"Step on it, Wrath!" shouted Envy. "We need to get to the finish line first!"

"But we'll never get to the finish line first!" said Wrath. "Ed and Al probably already beat us!"

"That's not what I meant! I meant we need to get to the finish line before Greed! That way, we'll show him that our boat isn't worthless!" Hearing this, Wrath powered up the engine so that the boat would go faster. They were ahead of everyone.

"Hey, Palm tree!" Envy turned around and saw Greed's boat right behind them.

"Wrath!" Wrath nodded and turned up the engine some more. Greed's boat quickly caught up to them. The finish line was just a half mile away. They got closer and closer. The finish line was just a few feet away. Envy and Wrath were determined to beat Greed. They just needed to be a little faster. Suddenly, a giant boat appeared behind them. It was heading straight for Greed, Envy, and Wrath at tremendous speed.

"YAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed the three homunculi as the giant boat crashed into them. The two smaller boats sank and the giant one crossed the finish line in second place. Greed, Envy, and Wrath quickly swam to shore.

"WHO'S THE BASTARD THAT CRASHED INTO US!?!" screamed Envy. "I WAS SO CLOSE TO BEATING GREED!" The door of the boat opened up and out came…

"NINA AND ELICIA!?!" said a very shocked Wrath.

"Phooey! We didn't win!" said Elicia.

"At least we got second place!" said Nina.

"That's my daughter!" said Hughes happily. "Isn't she the cutest? She also built that boat with Nina's help! Just look at it! That's what I call true work of art!" The three homunculi stood dumbfounded at the boat that a three-year-old and a four-year old had built.


	7. IS or TJT

Author's Note: I've decided to use Scar in this chapter. Why? Because he's freakin' awesome and LustxScar is one of my favorite couples!

Chapter Seven

It's Showtime!

Or

The Jealous Types (And I Don't Mean Envy)

Scar looked around. No military officers in sight. _Good, _he thought to himself. _Now I can relax in peace._ Scar had come to Paradise Island so he could relax from the entire State Alchemist killing. However, he discovered that the whole military decided to take a vacation on this very island. Scar promised himself that he won't kill anyone during his stay. He walked towards the beach and stopped. One of the military personnel was also on the beach. He didn't notice Scar. Instead, he was busy chatting with a beautiful woman. _Wait a minute,_ thought Scar. _That woman is Lust!_

"So, I really think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met," said Havoc. "I mean, I haven't met any other women, it's just you're the most beautiful I've ever seen."

"Really," said Lust. She was getting bored of listening to Havoc say the same thing over and over again. Havoc didn't seem to notice. He kept on talking about how beautiful she was.

"Also," said Havoc. "I was thinking of going on a date with you."

_That's it! _Scar thought angrily. _I've had enough! _He placed his hand on the ground and the beach started shaking. A crack opened up beneath Havoc and swallowed him.

"YAAAAAAAAAA!" The earth closed up. Scar walked up to Lust.

"Would you like to walk with me?" he asked.

"Of course," said Lust as she took Scar's hand. The two walked happily. Lust stopped. "Here's a thank you gift for rescuing me from extreme boredom." Lust put her face really close to Scar's face. Scar blushed. She was going to kiss him! They both closed their eyes. Their lips got closer.

"MY LUST!" Scar and Lust turned around and saw Gluttony running towards them at full speed. "MY LUST!" Scar started running. He knew very well that Gluttony was after him.

"No, Gluttony! Stop!" shouted Lust as he ran after them.

"Brother, I think it's best if we went to get our free meal tomorrow," said Al. "That way, we won't rush."

"Alright, Al," said Ed. "We'll go tomorrow." The sun was setting, painting the sky bright red. Ed and Al were sitting outside at a little round table. Surrounding were other round tables, all of them filled. They were all sitting in front of a big stage. There was a sign on the stage that said, "Want to show your talent? Show it here on the Paradise Island Show! Tonight only!"

"Menu, sir?" Ed looked up to see one of the native girls holding menus in her arms.

"Sure, thanks," said Ed.

"And you, sir?" The girl looked at Al.

"Uh, no thank you," said Al. "I'm not hungry." The girl smiled and walked away. Ed began reading the menu.

"I think I'll have the roast beef and the extra spicy chicken," said Ed.

"Extra spicy chicken?" said Al. "Ed, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"It won't hurt to try."

"_I_ think it will hurt." Ed ignored Al's comment and ordered his food (stubborn, isn't he?).

"Congratulations on winning the race." Hohenheim came up to Ed and Al's table, a broad smile on his face.

"Thanks, Dad," said Al. Ed just scowled.

"I heard that ticket you got is for five people," continued Hohenheim. "Maybe you should invite me?"

"Exactly _why_ would we do that?" asked Ed, arms crossed.

"I'm broke and the meal is free."

"Well, tough! That's your fault! Get a job!"

"Ed, that's not fair!" said Al. "We can't leave him hungry! He's our dad!"

"I don't care, Al!"

"Now, Edward," said Hohenheim. "Listen to your younger brother."

"Are you being invited to the free meal, Hohenheim?" Dante walked up to them. "I would love to go with you! It'll bring back memories of our first date!"

"Ewww," said Ed.

"Dante," said Hohenheim. "I really think…"

"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH MY MAN!" Ed, Al, Hohenheim, and Dante turned their heads toward where the voice came from. There, stomping towards them was a very angry looking Sloth (the homunculus, not the animal).

"_Your_ man!?!" said Dante, outraged. "Since when was he your man!?!"

"Ever since he married me!"

"Married _you_!?! I'm afraid you're mistaken! You are _not_ Trisha!" This comment only made Sloth angrier. Her arm turned into water and gushed at Dante. "AAAAIIIIEEE!" Dante was thrust backward and hit one of the palm trees. A coconut fell out of the palm tree and hit her on the head, knocking her into unconsciousness. Sloth's arm turned back to normal.

"Now, what was that about being invited to a free meal?" Ed and Al were too shocked to say anything.

"Why, the boys invited me to their free meal," said Hohenheim. "If you want, you can come with us, Sloth."

"Please," said Sloth. "Call me Trisha."

"W-wait a minute!" said Ed, finally breaking away from his shock. "We didn't invite anyone!"

"Ed, I think it's best not to talk," said Al, glancing worriedly at Sloth. Ed closed his mouth.

"Right now, we have four people," said Sloth. "I'll let you boys invite whoever you want. We'll go tomorrow at five o'clock. Let's go find a seat, Hohenheim." Sloth and Hohenheim left the two flabbergasted boys.

"_Now _what!?!" asked Ed.

"We could invite Winry," suggested Al.

"That's not what I meant! What are we going to do tomorrow!?!"

"Let's try to be on Sloth's good side, okay?" Ed sighed. This isn't what he wanted! Just then, the stage lights came on. One of the natives walked up with a microphone in his hand.

"Testing, testing," said the native as he tapped the mike. "Is this thing on?" A loud shrieking noise came from the speakers. Everyone covered their ears. "That would be a yes. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Paradise Island Show! Tonight, we are going to be seeing the unique talents of many different people. First up, Maes Hughes!" Everyone groaned. They all knew how this was going to turn out. However, when Hughes stepped up, instead of showing off his pictures of Elicia, he demonstrated his photography skills. There were white flashes of light that nearly blinded everyone.

"And now, let's have a look at some of the pictures I've taken!" said Hughes. "Ooh, here's a nice one! Sloth and Hohenheim sharing a plate of spaghetti! What does that remind you of? Oh ho! What have we here? Colonel Roy Mustang kissing First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye's hand! In another picture, we have Lust and Scar making out! Love's in the air! And my darling Elicia is having a food fight with Wrath and Nina! Isn't that adorable? Now, who wants pictures of Elicia?" After the audience finished throwing random objects at Hughes, it was Roy's turn.

"Sir, here is your meal," said the native girl as she gave Ed the roast beef and extra spicy chicken that he ordered during Hughes' performance.

"I will now demonstrate my amazing fire skills," said Roy. He snapped his fingers and the night was lit with fire. It wasn't enough to hurt anyone, but it was enough to warm the air. The audience ohhed and ahhed,

"Show off," muttered Ed through his roast beef. Roy snapped his fingers again and his Flame Alchemist symbol appeared in fire. He snapped his fingers again and the military symbol appeared, also in fire.

"The colonel sure is talented," said Al.

"I still think he's a show off," said Ed as he bit into his chicken. At that moment, Ed regretted eating the chicken. His face turned bright red, smoke was coming out of his ears, and when Ed opened his mouth, fire came out. They didn't call it "extra spicy chicken" for nothing! "WATER! WATER! WATER!" screamed Ed. Some of the palm trees caught on fire. Everyone's attention was now on Ed. Ed ran around screaming for water until Winry grabbed a pitcher full of icy water. Al held Ed down while Winry poured the water into Ed's mouth. Ed calmed down after the fire in his mouth was extinguished. The audience started applauding. Ed looked at them in puzzlement.

"That was the best fire show I've ever seen!"

"Amazing!"

"Even better than Mustang!"

Roy, however, was not amused. Nobody was paying attention to him now. He walked off the stage.

_Fullmetal's going to regret this!_

Author's Note: Ooh, jealous Roy! What's gonna happen next? Find out next chapter!


	8. Fishing and Stampede

Author's Note: Warning! This chapter contains a spoiler for episode 50!

Chapter Eight

I Went Fishing and Got Run Over By a Stampede

"Hey, Ed! Al! Since we won't be going to the restaurant until five, why don't we go fishing?"

"Fishing?" It was morning and Winry was visiting Ed and Al in their rooms.

"Yeah, fishing! C'mon, it'll be fun! I know where to get fishing rods and bait."

"I don't know," said Ed, scratching his head. "What do you think, Al?"

"I think we should go, Brother," said Al. "We haven't planned to do anything this morning."

"Alright," said Ed. "Fishing it is!"

"Envy, I'm bored."

"Then go jump out of a window."

"That's not fun!"

"Then go jump off the roof." Envy sat looking out of the window. He was extremely grumpy this morning and Wrath was only making him grumpier.

"C'mon, Envy," said Wrath. "Isn't there anything fun we can do?" Envy was about to yell at Wrath when he suddenly had an idea.

"There is something we can do," he said as he got up. "Come on. Follow me."

After they got their fishing rods and bait, Ed, Al, and Winry went to Paradise Lake. They heard that the lake was a popular fishing spot. When they arrived, no one was there.

"If this place is so popular," said Ed. "Then why are we the only ones here?"

"Maybe we're early," suggested Winry.

"But it's eleven o'clock!" said Al. The three decided to fish anyway. Ed and Al cast out their lines. "Brings back memories, doesn't it, Brother?"

"You mean our training?" said Ed. "Yeah. The scorching sun. Being hungry for days. Fearing for our lives. Good times. Good times." The three sat for many minutes. No bite. Soon it was twelve thirty. "Why aren't there any damn fish?" asked Ed impatiently. All of a sudden, Ed's line started moving. "Whoa!" Ed started reeling in his line. Whatever bit the bait was a huge one. Al and Winry started helping Ed. They kept on pulling until the whatever-it-was was near the bank.

"Look at the size of that thing!" said Winry, peering into the water. The shadow of the animal was huge.

"I wonder what kind of fish that is," said Al. Suddenly, the fish out of the water. It wasn't just a fish; it was a fresh water shark!

"AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!" Ed, Al, and Winry started running, leaving giant dust clouds behind them. They stopped running when they got to a dirt road.

"Now I know why no one else was there!" said Ed, breathing heavily.

"I had no idea this island had fresh water sharks!" said Winry, also breathing heavily.

"OUT OF OUR WAY!" The three turned their heads toward the direction of the voice that just yelled at them. There, they saw Envy and Wrath running at full speed.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" screamed Wrath as the two homunculi ran past.

"What was that all about?" asked Winry. Suddenly, they heard many mooing noises from the direction where Envy and Wrath had just run from. They turned around.

"STAMPEDE!" screamed Ed. Indeed, it was a stampede of cows. The three started running towards where Envy and Wrath went. The stampede was gaining on them. Ed was running so fast, he didn't look where he was going. He tripped on a rock that was lying on the road. The stampede ran over him.

"Brother!" Al was about to turn around.

"Forget it, Al! It's too late!" said Winry. The two continued running until they came across vegetation on each side of the road. "Quick!" said Winry. "Jump into one of those bushes!" Winry jumped into a bush on her side. Al jumped into a bush on his side.

"Hey, tin can! We were here first!" The bush that Al jumped into was already occupied by Envy and Wrath.

"Can't I stay here until the stampede passes by?"

"NO!" Envy tried to push Al out of the bush.

"W-wait!" Al became to struggle. The stampede went past them before Al was thrown into the road.

"Al! Are you alright?" Winry had come out of her bush.

"I'm fine, thanks," said Al as he got up.

"Hey, where's Fullmetal Pipsqueak?" Envy and Wrath had come out of their bush. "I thought he was with you." Al and Winry looked at each other.

"Ed!"

Ed was lying facedown, not moving.

"Is…is he dead?" asked Winry. Wrath picked up a stick that was lying nearby and started poking Ed with it.

"He's dead," said Wrath. "Can I have the rest of his body?"

"WHAT!?!" shrieked Al and Winry (they were shrieking at the fact that Ed was dead, not at what Wrath had just asked).

"That's not how you tell if someone's dead or not!" said Envy. "This is how you do it!" He took out a carton of milk from out of nowhere and poured it on Ed.

"AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! MILK! MILK ON MY HEAD!"

"He's alive," said Al and Winry. Ed jumped up and started squeezing his hair to get the milk out.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?!" screamed Ed at Envy.

"To see if you were alive or not," said Envy coolly. "Since you're alive, I think I'll pour the rest of the milk on you." Ed turned his auto-mail arm into a blade and starting chasing Envy.

"GET BACK HERE SO I CAN SLICE YOU UP!" Winry, Al, and Wrath just stood there; sweat dropping as they watched Ed chase his older half-brother out of sight.

Author's Note: So, what exactly started the stampede? Found out next chapter!


	9. No Title

Author's Note: I'm sorry that I haven't updated for a while. I'm just glad you're all so patient. Now, I'm going to start working on other stories, so I'm going to be very busy and don't know when I'm going to update again. Thank you so much for all of the reviews! I'm glad people like my story!

Chapter Nine

Uhh…Can't Think Of A Title. Sorry

"A stampede of cows had to be herded back to their grazing spots today. No one knows for sure what caused the cows to stampede, but witnesses say they saw two people near them before the stampede started. The two suspicious characters were described as a 'walking palm tree' and a 'kid whose right arm and left leg were different from the rest of his body.'"

Ed looked up from the newspaper and glared at Envy and Wrath. "And exactly _why_ were you two near the cows before the stampede started?"

"It's his fault," Envy pointed at Wrath.

"How is it my fault!?!"

"If you would've just shut up about being bored, we wouldn't have been tipping cows!"

"Cow tipping!?!" said Winry. "You two were cow tipping!?! That's what caused the stampede!?!" Envy and Wrath nodded. "You idiots! How could you be so careless!?! What if someone got hurt like Ed or worse!?!"

"Winry," said Envy calmly. "Do I _look_ like someone who would care?"

"Oh," said Winry. "That's right."

"I think we should get going," said Al. "It's almost five o'clock."

"You certainly took your time," said Sloth.

"We had to yell at a certain palm tree," said Ed. He didn't mention about yelling at Wrath. Who knows what Sloth's reaction would be if she found out Ed, Al, and Winry yelled at her "son."

"So, where is this restaurant?" asked Hohenheim. Ed got out his ticket.

"It says that the restaurant is in the middle of the jungle,"

"Middle of the jungle!?!" said Al. "But that's where the wild animals and cannibals live!"

"No matter," said Sloth. "If we get attacked, we'll just sacrifice you two."

"WHAT!?!"

"It was a joke, boys!" laughed Sloth. "Let's go, Hohenheim." Ed and Al stood there, not knowing whether to move or not.

"Are you coming, boys?" asked Hohenheim. Ed and Al came back to their senses and started following Winry and the two adults.

"What are we gonna do now, Envy?" asked Wrath.

"How about you shut the hell up?"

"That's not funny, Envy!" Envy rubbed his temples. Ever since he got yelled at by Winry, Envy had received a huge headache. Wrath was only making it worse.

"Why don't you go play in the jungle or something?"

"Okay!" Wrath ran off into the direction of the jungle.

"Good riddance," said Envy. He started walking back to the hotel when he realized something. He slapped his forehead. How could've he been so stupid? If Sloth found out that he had let Wrath go by himself in the jungle, she will keep killing him until he was permanently dead. "Wrath! Come back!" Envy ran towards the direction of the jungle.

The thick jungle was almost impossible to go through. Ed stumbled three times already.

"How much farther until we get the restaurant?" asked Winry.

"I don't know," said Ed. "What I would like to know is why the hell anyone would build a restaurant in the _middle of a jungle_!"

"Probably for advertisement," said Sloth.

"An advertisement for what!?! Roam around in the jungle like a couple of idiots!?!" Ed's comment was ignored as the five some continued their search.

Roy looked out into the ocean, his eyes burning with anger. He needed to think up of a way to get back at Ed for stealing the spotlight from him the previous night. Roy started walking when he suddenly stepped on something.

"What the…?" The spot where he stepped on started moving. Out popped out Havoc's head. "What the - !?! Havoc!?!" Havoc spat out the sand that was in his mouth.

"Oh, hello Colonel Mustang," said Havoc when he saw Roy. "How are you?"

"How am I!?!" said Roy. "Havoc, what on earth happened to you!?!"

"I was chatting with this sexy chick and her tan boyfriend got mad."

"Well, that explains everything." Roy helped Havoc out of the sand.

"So, what are you doing here, colonel?" asked Havoc as he brushed off the sand.

"Oh, I was just thinking how to get revenge on Fullmetal."

"Good luck with that. I doubt you'll succeed."

"Thank – hey!" Roy glared at Havoc. Suddenly he had an idea. He smiled evilly. "I know how to get my revenge. Havoc, come with me! I need your help."

"Wrath! Where the hell is that damn kid!?!" Envy was running through the jungle, searching for the younger homunculus. He had no idea where Wrath had run off to. Envy stopped running when he noticed a tree blocking his way. The tree had red and white striped fruits growing on it. Envy looked around and noticed something lying next to the tree. He looked closer and realized that it was Wrath's clothes. "What the hell?" Envy looked around but Wrath was nowhere in sight. He looked back at the tree and, with a jolt, realized what kind of fruit was growing on it. Sugar apples. One bite and you get major sugar rush. Envy groaned. Somewhere in the jungle, a hyperactive naked homunculus was running around. "How am I supposed to find him now?" Envy looked up at the sky. A light bulb appeared above his head. "That's it!" Envy changed into a bird and flew off. "A bird's eye view is exactly what I need!" Envy flew around the jungle. No sign of Wrath anywhere. Suddenly, a bunch of large birds flew out of the trees and flew straight towards Envy. "Oh, ffffff – shit."

"How – much – farther?" Ed was exhausted. It felt as though they were in the jungle for weeks.

"Quit complaining, Ed!" said Winry, who was also exhausted. "We'll find it soon! I think."

"Look! There it is!" said Al, pointing. There stood a small restaurant that said Honolulu's Jungle Restaurant.

"WE FOUND IT!" cried Ed. "WE FINALLY FOUND IT!" Ed ran towards the restaurant. The others stopped to rest.

"One minute he's tired," said Winry, "the next he's full of energy. He's not normal at all."

"No one's normal, Winry," said Hohenheim.

"Especially not my brother," said Al.

Author's Note: Ed and the others finally found the restaurant! But happened to Wrath? Is Envy going to survive the giant bird ambush? And what is Roy up to? Find out next time in Fullmetal Summer Vacation!


End file.
